Crossroads

I’m already thinking of what to do for the summer and how I can use Ariel to my advantage again. I thought of a great ALS research center in Boston. I thought it would be great to be an unpaid intern and help with ALS research in some capacity.
One problem I am facing is only having only one gap year between graduation and med school matriculation. In order to stay on this track, I need to take one year of Chemistry this summer and then take Bio and O-Chem in the fall and spring of 2010. Take the MCAT in the fall and possibly in the spring. With the classes and MCAT out of the way, I should be good to go for class of 2011.

I thought going to Boston for the summer and do research would be fun, so I started looking at colleges in the Cambridge area to take a chemistry class this summer. I could easily go to a great school there and stay on track. Great schools such as: MIT, Harvard, Northeasterm UMass Boston, Tufts, BC, and BU offer open summer session enrollment.

Sounds like a great idea. Spend a summer in Boston, take a class and do some research that you feel passiont about. This morning I realized that this is no financially feasible. The schools in the Cambridge area have a price range for a 4 credit course of 1,200 to 2,700. I need to take 8 credits this summer and it’s just not feasible. For 4 credits at UAF, I paid around 700 dollars.

I could take out student loans, but I don’t like to take out more loans. I’ve made loan free until this year. I will only graduate with about $6,000 in loans, so I don’t want to push my debt up.

Frustrating

I had an ALS fundraiser event planned at St. John’s College that was to be open for the college community and the Santa Fe community. The proceeds would go to ALS Association New Mexico which would be used for research funding and buying equipment for ALS families. I had gotten approval from ALSANM and I just needed St. John’s College approval to use the soccer field. I got all the required forms in and thought it would be a straight through approval.
About two weeks go by and I find out that I’ve been denied. One of the reasons was because one particular office felt that I didn’t have enough time to pull of the project in such a short amount of time. Even though they sat on it for two weeks they gave me that answer!
Another reason why I was denied is because I cannot use college resources and bring Santa Fe residents to St. John’s, charge people, and donate the proceeds to an external organization.
In the past, students have been able to use college facilities and resources, charge Santa Fe residents, and donate the proceeds to an external organization. It’s very frustration that I cannot do this, it makes me question how supportive the college is with the Santa Fe community. The students feel a certain isolation when they’re at St. John’s. This family fair would have been a great way for students to meet Santa Fe families and network.
Tomorrow I have my first of probably many meetings of why this project should happen. If I have to, I will take it to the President of the college.

Who wants to leave paradise?

Brittany and I have been busy since we arrived in Honolulu on Wednesday. Holly’s (Brittany’s mom) promotion to O-6 (Colonel) ceremony was Friday and the private party was on Saturday.

Brit and I had enough time to sneak away and see my cousins who also arrived on Wednesday and they are spending their fall break in Hawaii until Halloween. They will spread Heidi’s ashes around the North Shore because Hawaii holds a special place for the whole family since it is where Bill and Heidi first meet.

Since Holly is a OB/GYN she has a lot of doctor friends and of course, a lot of them are military doctors. I saw a lot of O-6s there and one Brigadier General. Once they heard that I am deciding between Navy and Army for Healthcare, lots of Army doctors swooped in and were trying very hard to convince me that Army was the best choice.

What I found in each conversation, every military doctor that I talked with is very happy with their life and their job. It’s nice to see the other side of the spectrum unlike last summer with all the dissatisfied doctors.
But I am getting to the point where I feel like alright, enough talk now, go out and do it. I feel I’m being held back, but wait, I am doing it– just slowly. I do need a college degree to be eligible for medical school.

Colonel Promotion!

Brittany and I are leaving on Wednesday morning for Hawaii. We will spend Wednesday to Sunday night in Honolulu. Brittany’s mom will be promoted to Colonel on Friday. As a potential military physician, I believe it’s important for me to witness a Colonel promotion since It is a very respectable position in the Army and it takes time and dedication to reach that level.

Today I got together with other hockey referees in Santa Fe, one of them was in the Navy as a pedis doctor. We had a short talk today and planned to meet over a beer. Just our short talk got me excited about military medicine and pediatrics again. I get so caught up in my current studies at St. John’s, I sometimes forget to step back and look at the whole picture.

On Saturday mornings I’ve set aside a dedicated time block for MCAT prep. There was a “senior class retreat” today which consisted of driving 40mins north of Santa Fe and drinking with other seniors; I decided to stay on campus and continue my MCAT prep. I figured I will make a few sacrifices during medical school and residency, I better get used to it.

Small Community

One thing I take for granted here at St. John’s is how small the community is. The community here gets very frustrating to the point where you don’t want to see certain groups or individuals. I’m currently on a disciplinary review board that deals with student infractions.
The past couple of weeks we’ve been dealing with an issue that fell out of a non sanctioned college party. This party takes place on top of a mountain behind the school, off campus. The party itself is a re-creation of Moses’s exodus out of Egypt where freshman carry an ark up the mountain with the rest of the student body following behind. As a student, the party is a great way for me to meet other students early on in the year and a great way to bond with other students who understand the fun behind it. From an administrative side, fires always happen at this party and a fire is the biggest danger towards the college since we are surrounded by dry trees. The fall out from this year’s party is a physical confrontation between a group of individuals. What is distressing to people here at St. John’s is that we hardly hear of a physical confrontation on campus.
The disciplinary board held a public hearing last week. The turn out was bigger than I had expected with about 50 students attending. For me, it’s been hard to stay motivated for the issue because I have to deal with it from two perspectives, well more like three if we count the student perspective. I have to discuss the issue as an RA, then I have to discuss it as a review board member. This issue has been pounding me because so many people care about what happened.
I really should appreciate people feeling so strongly about it and want to discuss the issue with me. I may think I’m a good listener, but am I a good listener when I’m tired and worn down? I should also value that people do want to hear my opinion, it shows that I am a part of the community and people seek me out. I won’t be in such a small community when I leave St. John’s.

Strike out ALS

In my last post I wrote about how I’m trying to do an ALS fundraiser because my cousin Heidi was diagnosed with it my freshman year.

On Tuesday night Heidi scummed to ALS. She died in her husband’s arms. I’m leaving tomorrow morning for Denver. I’ll be there over the weekend attending memorial services. I just don’t know how to feel. I always knew this day would come, but Heidi’s disease progressed so quickly. I always had hope for her. The why questions are hard to keep out of my mind.

When I heard of Heidi’s diagnosis 3 years ago, it changed my life. I know her passing will change mine again. I’m just not sure how I will respond when I go to Denver and be with my family, but this situation will make me a better man and a better doctor.

Electron Development

It’s only three weeks into the school year, but so far everything has been a mix of interesting and weird.

Interesting: Reading the history of the electron, my conception of space and time is being reworked, Hegel, and the tedious French homework.

Weird: As an RA I’m placed in weird social positions with some of my peers. I’m learning about myself and my comfort zone every week. I also see a different side of student life that I haven’t seen, more administrative and safety.

Last week I was approached by a freshman, Alex, who took the job as the Project Politae lead. In short, his job is to help with community service projects around town. He asked me if I was interested in any Project Politae on going projects. I told him no, because I have my main cause, ALS. My cousin, Heidi, was diagnosed with ALS my freshman year. I’ve seen her go from walking to now bedridden. There’s no connection to ALS in my family, she was just hit with it one year. There is no cure for it and no real definite cause. As many as 30,000 Americans may currently be affected by ALS. The average life expectancy of a person with ALS is two to five years from time of diagnosis.

Alex and I are throwing a Family Fun Day/Carnival at St. John’s next month. It’s to help raise funds for The ALS association here in New Mexico. Once we get approval from St. John’s, it will be a crazy couple of weeks, we have pretty big plans. Our tentative title is, “Family Fun Day on The Hill”. It’s a play off of Music on The Hill that St. John’s does in the summer. Supposedly a lot of families come up during the summer months and enjoy live music, so The Hill part draws parents in right away. We already got approval from the ALS New Mexico office and they are really excited for this event.

In-patient Care part 2

This is the second part of my In-patient care post. I wrote about it in my final Ariel essay, here is the excerpt from it.

I was interested in what in-patient rounds were like, so Dr. Abbott in Internal Medicine brought me along one morning. Dr. Abbott had patients at Bassett and at the civilian hospital in town, Fairbanks Memorial. When we walked into Fairbanks Memorial, Dr. Abbott was giving me a briefing of the first patient we were going to see. This patient is a 29 year old female who is a diabetic. She did not treat her diabetes correctly and was going in and out of the hospital for the past several months. She is now at the point of what is know as cognitive brain dead. Dr. Abbott pulled up the patient chart and was telling me the orders that the family has given him, one of them was a do not resuscitate order. He called the patients’ power of attorney, and talked to them about the family’s plan. The conversation ended with the agreement of waiting until the patients’ mother was in Fairbanks to make the decision to discontinue life support. I followed Dr. Abbott into the patients’ room and he proceeded to try and see if the patient would respond to his voice. Only a few natural reflexes were exhibited, but nothing to prove that there was still brain function. I had never encountered a patient who was so medically impaired, and it was depressing and draining to imagine that family facing end of life questions. I never wish this situation upon anyone, but in terms of my training it was very interesting to see first hand a medical ethics issue regarding end of life care and how a doctor has to handle these questions with their patients’ family. I can read about medical ethics but nothing can replace the first hand experience that I had with Dr. Abbott.

Balance Bar

While I was with Dr. McWilliams, we had a patient who wanted a medical wavier to avoid jury duty. The patient argued that she does not like to sit in the bench chairs for an extended period, so she felt that was grounds for a medical wavier. Dr. McWilliams asked the patient if she were to stay in Fairbanks for the remainder of her life and asked if she plans to never fly again. The patient said no, she actually has a trip planned to Florida.

Dr. McWilliams denied the patient because she felt that the patient was using her to get out of a civil duty. Since the patient can endure 3+ hour plane rides out of Alaska, she could sit in a court room. She did say to her that she will write a letter for her to carry to the court describing her medical condition and state what breaks and extra padding is needed.

What I learned from that patient exam is that people will try to use your position to better themselves, but at the cost of the community.

I’ve had a similar experience recently as an Residential Assistant. The student wanted to better themselves, but it would compromise my position. When this situation occurred, time seemed to stop for a second. I thought of my time at Bassett and how I watched Dr. McWilliams not let people use her position as a doctor for their personal gain.

I stood my ground and said no.

Senior Year At St. John’s

Freshman register today. I’m leading a dorm, god help me.

I have been talking with some of my peers and I get positive feedback about my tutors. At St. John’s, we do not pick our professors, we are just given a class schedule and go to class.

I’m not sure how I’m going to write in this blog with relation to my premed adventures. Obtaining a Bachelors Degree is prereq toward medical school, so I guess blogging about my Senior Year will keep me going and hopefully sane.